Acedia

Acedia (“lack of care”) is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, characteristic of the Enneagram Nine space. Acedia is often translated as “Sloth”. Sounds harmless, doesn’t it? Think again.

 “The stark truth of it:
      I do not seek the Divine
      or believe in Love
      because I do not want to.
  
 “I spend hours, years really, preparing to seek,
 but the actual work is too hard, so I lie down
 and don't get up to look for
 that which is always before me.
  
 “Parts of me are so clever; they keep me
 so busy or exhausted,
 too preoccupied to notice that I am asleep,
 or how hollow that feels inside.”
  
 "Seek the Lord while He may be found."
  
 "You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you later; I'm having a nap.
 Could you bring me a drink while I'm down here?"
  
 Slow death, by inches, never quite noticing
 that everything is crumbling all around you, falling
 apart, growing moldy. "It doesn't taste
 so bad," as it eats your guts.
  
And then one day, if you are very lucky, something snaps and
You. Are. Just. DONE.
  
 Bolt upright, jolted out of an underwater dream of drowning,
 you gasp for the breath you didn’t know you needed.
  
 “Breathe,” a Voice inside you says.
 “Breathe again. It feels good, doesn’t it?”
  
 After a time, your breathing slows
 and you begin to collect your wits.
 Still jittery, you shake the dust from your feet
 and move forward to face
 the devastation you have wrought by your neglect.